Forrest Hanson

How to Break Relationship Patterns: Resolving Conflict and Communicating Your Needs | Being Well

13K views · 4d ago · 1:14:51

Guest: Being Well

Most relationships, romantic or otherwise, tend to get stuck in predictable patterns of conflict. This episode is about how to resolve that conflict, and get things moving again. Dr. Rick and I draw on Rick's decades of work with couples and families to talk about getting on the same team, healthy boundaries, making clear requests, differentiation, and the pursuer-distancer dynamic.

Topics: What Rick wishes couples did differently · How to ask for what you want · Differentiation and family systems · When both people are right: content vs. tone · Why fighting can feel good · The pursuer-distancer dynamic

How to Fix Insomnia: CBT-I with Dr. Ashley Mason | Being Well

9.2K views · 1w ago · 1:17:13

Guests: Being Well, Dr. Ashley Mason

I’m joined by Dr. Ashley Mason, a clinical psychologist and sleep researcher at UCSF, to discuss Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for insomnia (CBT-I). We talk about what separates insomnia from a few rough nights, why people with insomnia sleep (on average) only a little less than everyone else but experience the night completely differently, how insomnia develops and what keeps it going, and the five pillars of CBT-I.

Topics: What insomnia is, and why it’s not just about hours of sleep · How insomnia develops · Sleep hygiene, the five pillars of CBT-I, and caffeine · What treatment looks like: wake time and time in bed restriction · Sleep anxiety, tracking, and working with 2am thoughts · Sleep as a performance category, fear-mongering, and alcohol

Self-Acceptance: Why "Just Love Yourself" Doesn't Work | Being Well

24K views · 2w ago · 1:08:06

Guest: Being Well

@RickHanson and I focus on how to accept the parts of ourselves we don’t like. We explain why "just love yourself more" rarely works, walk through a four-step process, and talk about why acceptance gets easier when you can set boundaries with yourself. We also cover accepting the “bad” parts of who we are, how to work with the persona you've built to get through life, and self-authorship: taking a hand in who you're becoming.

Topics: If I accept myself, won't I get complacent? · Why "just love yourself more" doesn't work · Group 1: Authentic parts we don’t like · Boundaries with your own parts, and sticking up for them · Accepting the difficult stuff · Own it to regulate it: mean streaks and near enemies

How to Accept Yourself (Without Giving Up on Change) | Being Well

48K views · 3w ago · 1:01:57

Guest: Being Well

Self-acceptance gets recommended constantly, but are we really supposed to accept the parts of ourselves we don't like? Won’t that stop us from changing? @RickHanson and I discuss what self-acceptance is, what it isn't, and why it’s the starting point for real change.

Topics: What self-acceptance is (and isn't) · The four stages of competence · Two bad exits: "idiot" self-acceptance and excessive self-criticism · Critical self-acceptance: judge the behavior, not the self · The three circles: the act, the scared self, and the ‘being’ · The two things people struggle to accept

How to Heal Shame with Self-Compassion | Dr. Chris Germer, Being Well

44K views · 1mo ago · 1:15:10

Shame is one of the hardest emotions to work with, in part because it blocks what we need most when we’re feeling shame: self-compassion. Dr. Chris Germer, clinical psychologist and co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, joins me to discuss how we can get around that trap. We talk about where shame comes from, how to recognize it when it’s hiding behind other emotions, and practical tools that help us experience less shame.

Topics: What shame is and why it hides · How self-compassion changes the inner voice · The arc of working with shame · Shame as an "innocent" emotion · Backdraft and the wish to be loved · Self-compassion as a form of exposure